The Very Best

I have the absolute very best. I have the best family. And that's immediate, extended and inlaw. I have the best friends including those close to my heart but far from my home, those new in my life and nearby my house, and some I haven't seen in a long long time. I have the best cat. Even when she scratches me.

I've gotten text messages, phone calls, emails, facebook messages*, kind words and invitations to dinner, movies, visits, drinks, etc., and so many thoughts and prayers that I can honestly say I can feel them.

I'm so so thankful and feel so blessed with those in my life who will keep me afloat.

* - Speaking of Facebook, I think everyone reading this has likely heard my stand on deployment info posted there, but just to be sure...I'm not, and ask you not to put anything on the wall about this deployment, him being gone, etc. I have friends with husbands deployed who do, and that's their choice. I just don't want to put it out there in that forum. Thanks!

OK, time to go about the business of Saturday!

AND

I forgot to tell you! He called at about 4:30pm today. He was just getting settled in Kuwait. 36 hrs. That's a looooong trip! I told him to get some rest, and he said he would and would also see about wifi at the local Starbucks! If they had it, he'd try to send an email. :)

Getting Through

So, in deciding to restart the blog with this adventure apart, I've had some thoughts/revelations. They are:

First, I thought that I'd keep it all sunshine and roses here. Stay positive. Be up! But then I thought that's not really real. I know there are going to be days that suck. I'd rather just be honest. That's not brutally honest, mind you. and real but not raw. There will be things that I think and feel and do that don't make it to the pages of this blog. But I won't blow a lot of smoke either.

Second, or is that secondly? Is it secondly if it isn't firstly? Mary? Anyway, my next note is that I've thought of something fun and I hope SB will like it. I'm taking a photo with my phone each day and emailing it to him. Not a giant long message or list of questions or comments or never-ending commentary about my day at work. Just a photo. Maybe with a clever name or caption or explanation. I hope he likes it.

Finally, I've come to the realization that as hard as the past day has been, it isn't even because I miss him. He hasn't even been gone that long. But that year looming ahead of me is overwhelming. I hope that once a few weeks have gone by and it is no longer a year I should be good to go!

Watch out...here comes that sunshine!

The Beginning of a Long Year

Today SB left for a year long deployment. I think I've done well with it. I mean, since he's been gone a whole 12 hours. I sat down to write this post, only to find that I don't really know what to say. So, here it is in pictures:

Kitty thinks maybe she can help out. "Can I go?"

Fooling around, getting in formation and being called to attention for the last time on Ft Riley.

I think this Soldier's gear and weapon are almost bigger than she is!

At ease. The Command Sergeant Major and Battalion Commander give a short speech to the Soldiers and Families.

After a talk about what lies ahead, and a confidence boost in the explanation that these few were hand chosen to go ahead of the larger group to prepare the way, they make their way to the bus.

This is my last in person look until R&R leave. I'm glad it's a happy one. I love you. mwah.

New Leaves

I'm about to be 40. Is that too old to learn a new trick? Too set in my ways to turn over a new leaf? I'm hoping not. I've been spending some time thinking about some things, and it's time to make some changes. (I'm starting by not obsessing about the fact that I just used the word "some" three times in the last sentence.)
I am who I am and I like who I am. I need for there to be some semblance of order and structure and planning to feel at peace in my life, that is okay. What isn't okay is for me to miss out on what's happening because I'm too busy trying to plan the next thing, organize the now, or complete some task or schedule I have put on myself.
I'm going to stop (read: make an honest to goodness, sincere effort to stop) feeling like I have to blog about everything that happens. I like to blog. I like to look back and see where I've been, what I've done, who I've done it with. (not IT, you know what I mean!) But it's not fun for me to pull up the blog, note the date, and then get mad at myself because it's been a week, a month, or longer. I'm letting go of that. I'll blog when I blog and scrapbook when I scrapbook and stop making it a chore instead of a fun hobby.
I made this resolution at the beginning of this year: 8. Only buy, keep and do things that are beautiful, useful, or bring me joy.
With that, I'm also letting go of thinking that if I am within 150 miles of anyone I know I must see them. This is going to be a little tougher because it DOES bring me joy to see people. I like people. I'm accused of being friends with everyone, and I'm not even going to try to deny it. I like catching up with people and knowing what's up with them. But it can't be at the expense of my sanity. And some of this is me being worried someone will be hurt, but when I really think about it, I realize that I just want to see everyone and there aren't enough hours in the day and days in the weeks of vacations to do it. I'll just have to start making some choices and visiting who I can, when I realistically can.
and then maybe I'll have more time/inclination to blog about it! :)

Meet in the Middle

So, I was going to post all about my 4 day weekend with my b/f/fs, but then I saw that one of them already did it!

I don't think I can improve upon her post, so go there, read all about it! :)

What I will add, is that I bawled for about 30 minutes driving home. It's not as though I'll never see them again, or even that I have to fly back across the ocean to another time zone not knowing when I'll see them. I'm a 10-12 hr drive (half if you meet in the middle!), a few hours by plane, and always in the same time zone now.

I was sad, though. Sad that they got to drive together and I had to go it alone. and sad that they were going back to my beloved Texas and I had to go to the Wheat State (eye roll).

But of the things I know for sure (borrowing from Oprah), I know that these two that I was a child with, a teenager, a young person, and now a close-to-middle-aged person with, will always be in my life. Always, always, always. So I dried it up and drove back to stupid Kansas.

Hobby Lobby...Trouble's Brewing...

Well...I went to Hobby Lobby today. I walked slowly up and down the aisles. I touched a lot of things. I picked up some things, and I put a few things in my basket (and put a few in and then back out). By the time I left the store my eyes were burning. I have a habit of not blinking when I am shopping. I'm just so focused on trying to see it all and calculate sale prices, add it all up, add tax, etc. This trip was made especially complicated by the fact that I have "gone digital". I started digital scrapbooking about...hhmmm... gosh, it must be a year ago because my first pages were of the trip from Germany to Texas at the end of 2008. Before leaving Germany I unloaded a LOT of paper goods. It wasn't that much by the standards of many of my Stuttgart Scrapper friends, but it was a lot to me. Since I've been back in the states (Aug 2009) I just haven't been able to get in the groove except to do the monthly recipe cards. I really enjoy those and my 6x6 album is completely full (and overflowing). THAT was the reason for the Hobby Lobby trip. But once I was in there, I was just taken over. I had all the time in the world, and just meandered along considering and thinking and pondering and deciding.
What's the trouble, you say? I'm thinking I might go back to paper. And that sad little tiny bag I walked out with held a receipt announcing my budget-busting $48 purchase.
Whatever...it's cheaper than golf! ;-)

This n That

Well, I'm still not sure what I've been doing that has kept me so busy, I think it's been a variety of things.

Work. I've been preparing families of another unit to send their soldiers downrange. Having just joined this unit four months ago I have been in a mad rush to get everyone's Family Information Sheets collected, entered into a database, and fine tuned the best we could. I've also recruited volunteers and arranged for their training and in many instances my own. My least favorite task has been dealing with a little bit of good old fashioned workplace drama. and just when I thinkn the worst of it has passed, a new issue arises and it starts again! UGH, makes me want to tear out my hair!
Then I get an email from the mother of a private thanking me for getting her connected to the website, and for making sure she and her husband had as much information as they could get regarding her son's upcoming deployment. Then another young soldier approaches me to nervously ask how he goes about getting his uh...um...he's having a baby in a few months...how does he get the mom connected to us and get her information about the unit downrange, etc? THIS is why I do this job and THIS is what I hold on to. Not that silly drama that doesn't involve me anyway. :)

Kitty Baby.
She is out of control. She loves to sleep on my chest and just purr and purr. When she's not doing that, though, she is running around like a crazy cat, attacking our ankles and jumping in any closet, pantry, freezer door open long enough. It's a constant battle to keep her off the counter, the table, the sink, the computer keyboard etc...

Home.
We are still in Kansas (I haven't been off the blog THAT long!) and have been here about 6 months now. That doesn't seem possible. Doesn't seem that long, really. We've learned a little bit about what we need/want as far as our housing situation goes, and while this house is fine until our lease is up in September, we will probably look for somewhere else to live over the summer. We were enjoying the snow for a little while, but I think we are both pretty over it now. It's just gotten to be a nuisance. I know that Spring is on the way, and I look forward to it!

Free time.
Well...we don't have a lot of this these days. I work late at least one night most weeks doing some kind of training or meeting, and Stephen works OVERNIGHT on duty at least once a month, usually twice. And of course now that he is in a regular unit, he's a platoon sergeant, so he is up at 4:45 every morning for formation and PT, and then home after me most days. I usually get home by about 6pm, having worked out at Curves after work as many days as I can get there. I really enjoy it and have seen some results (not a lot, but enough to keep me going!)
I did make time to run off to New York to a superbowl party with my fantasy football league. It was so great to see them, it's been FIVE years! Where DOES the time go?

I guess that's about it for now. I'll try to post more often and less lengthy posts!


I tried unsuccessfully to upload some photos. Will try again later...

Where Have I Been??

I don't know. But I'll try to get back here soon!

Resolving

I've read several blog posts, notes, and status updates to Facebook, and heard some conversations and comments, and have come to a conclusion. I'm making some resolutions. It's what I do. I list. I plan. I resolve. Most times something gives way and plans change, flex, or eventually go by the wayside completely. But I wouldn't be me if I didn't make a plan.
So, here goes:
1. Lose the Wedded Bliss/Living in Germany/Moving Back to America weight and be healthier.
2. Be flexible, but also firm with things that matter to me.
3. Tell people what I want instead of expecting them to read my mind and act accordingly.
4. Change my Facebook profile pic weekly, and always have someone beside me in it that I love.
5. Do #4 (and other little things) to keep me mindful of all the people in my life that I love and who love me.
6. Scrapbook
7. Work with husband on money matters.
8. Only buy, keep and do things that are beautiful, useful or bring me joy.
9. Accessorize
10. Laugh, Live, Love

That's all I've got for now, but I reserve the right to change, modify, add, delete, steal from lists of others. :)
Happy 2010!