In My Bag o Tricks

So, it's been over a week. I've been thinking about this post for several days. At the end you will likely say "that doesn't seem like a post that should have taken several days to come up with!" And really it isn't that I was trying to think of it. It was that I've been thinking I should probably post something, and this is what the next one will be...

A list of things that a spouse of a deployed Soldier should have to get through it. For me, it goes without saying (but I'm saying it anyway) an incredible support system of friends and family who are checking in on me and letting me know they care for me, are there for me, and will do whatever they can to make it better. This alone makes me feel safe and secure. The following list helps to keep me sane.

1. A Plan
My plan for this year is to lose weight. Yes, I know that is my plan for every year. But this year is going to be different. Yes, I know I say that every year. But this year I'm not having cookies or chips or coke in the house. And this year I've got the treadmill taking up half the living room and looking all out of place in there. And this year....I'm GOING TO HAWAII!! oh yeah.
So, while I allowed myself to wallow in his leaving for the first weekend (that quickly morphed into the first week), I'm on track. Working out, eating right, drinking water.

2. Plans
It's important to stay busy. I have plans to go places, to do things, to stay involved. I'm going to get a very detailed planner and fill it up. Again, yes, I know I always do this. But it's a concious effort this time. And I intend to plan to have no plans sometimes. Because one must strike a balance between busyness (<--is that right?) and downtime. Sometimes my plan for the evening is a couple glasses of wine and all the DVRd episodes of Criminal Minds. Yes, that IS a plan! Part of staying busy is just routine. Going to work everyday, going to the gym, having a regular routine passes the time better than anything else I know. But I don't just want to pass the time; I don't want to just lose a year. It's a year without my husband, but it's still a year of my life. So along with regular routine stuff, I'm trying to add in things that I don't or won't do when he is here. Like movies he'd have no interest in seeing, eating chinese food and seafood and that type of thing.

3. Wine
All the spouses I know have wine. This is not to say that they are drinking a bottle a night. Please do not send me a list of local AA meetings. #4 will keep the wine consumption in check. It is nice, though to curl up on the couch with a glass of sweet red and the remote. And/or the cat.

4. Battle buddies
I think this sounds silly. When a Soldier goes into combat, he/she always has a battle buddy who has got his/her back, who can be counted upon to bring him/her home safely. People often say the same about spouses. It is true, it's just the term I think is silly. But the sentiment is true. I have some friends here on post who are going through the same thing I am. If I'm having a rough time of it, one of them is not right now and can smooth things out some. Or can let me be or bring me a glass of wine or take me to eat mexican food (and then walk it off with me!) "They" say you should have A battle buddy, but I think you need several. I have one I went to high school with. We aren't super close and actually had not spoken since 1988 until we realized we were going to be stationed together, we do come from the same place. I have several whose husbands (in the unit I work for) left and will return 6 months prior to mine. They are all going on mid tour leave right now, so that's helping me look forward to our R&R leave. It will be difficult when this unit returns and I still have 6 months to go, but that's the cycle. Then I have a couple whose husband's are with mine. So on any given day at least one of them will be having an okay time of it and can pull me out of a slump or vice versa.

5. Information/Resources
The Army is pretty good about providing spouses with information and/or resources for whatever situation may arise. Red Cross, Legal Assistance, Rear Detachment contacts, counseling services, classes, etc., If you can't find help, you aren't looking very hard.

I guess that's about it. I think it's a pretty valuable set of tools. or tricks. or treats. OK...I'm going before I get too corny. mmmm, candy corn!