Tuesday, May 31, 2011

When I Grow Up

I don't want to be an astronaut, or a ballerina, a gymnast or NFL star. I don't want to be a mathematician or accountant. I don't even like math. Or people who like math. I still kind of want to be Olivia Newton-John, but I
think I might be setting my sights on something a little more... me.

You know how when you have your whole life ahead of you the possibilities seem endless? You want to be several things, and they are nowhere near related. A friend's 16 year old recently mentioned she wanted to be a dancer. Or
an architect. Or a marine biologist. Endless possibilities. Once you hit, say, 40(ish), you have moved to the shallow end of the possibility pool.
Time passed has pushed you out of any field that requires years of physical training or a youthful endurance(Olympic skier) any field that has an age limit (a military career) and anything you have figured out you don't have an interest in. That would be anything math related for me. You also have to consider your location and life circumstances. If you live in Kansas, you probably aren't going to pursue oceanography. If you are a busy mom, you might not choose a career
that demands a 60-70 hour work week. I said might not, I know some do.

So what is left? Looking at things you've always had some interest in is a good place to start. I, for instance, have always been interested in writing. And in planning. I likely (Lord willing) have a minimum of 25 years left in the workplace. That doesn't just seem like a long time. It is a long time. I just did the math. I didn't enjoy it. The sum, or difference, or product, or quotient...I don't even have the math terminology. The answer (but, I'm good with the words) is that I am halfway through my working life. This means I have just as long to work as I have already worked.

From age 16-41 I earned a living in fast food, childcare, retail, banking, and clerical fields, with increasing time spent in each as the years progressed. Age 41-65 remains to be seen, but I'm thinking about my options, and there are still quite a few
possibilities, even in the shallow end.

Saturday, May 28, 2011

Sour Note

wow. I guess I haven't been here in a while. I hate to return on a sour note, but I'm going to.


Have I mentioned lately that I hate the military? Well I do. I hate the lifestyle. I hate that I don't get to live where I've always lived and where I want to live and where no one wears a jacket at the end of May. But I'm not mad about the weather today. I'm mad about the moving.

Today we had a farewell get together. I'd say luncheon, but it was at 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Of course we had enough food to call it a luncheon, but that's not the point. The point is that a really great lady (L) that I started out respecting and admiring and ended up respecting, admiring, being great friends with, sharing laughs and more than a few drinks with, and looking to for support in several of life's difficult situations is leaving. Her husband will be permanently changing stations (PCSing) to Virgina next month. I'll see her between now and then, and it was a great time of food and fun and friends, but I left feeling really sad.

Not only will today's guest of honor leave in a month, two of the other guests are PCSing next week. I realized just as the afternoon was coming to a close that I won't see either of them again. This was their last event. I said a tearful goodbye to each of them, bitterness rising in my throat.

I guess this is the definition of bittersweet. I never would have met these fantastic ladies were it not for the military and how it moves people in and out of one another's lives. But I wouldn't have to have that terrible sense of loss each summer (PCS season) when so many move to their next duty station. In addition to these three, there are four others from our close circle leaving in July or August. I'm so grateful that there are five who will remain, and we will invite newcomers in and make a new close circle.

I guess I'm just someone who when I like how things are going, I'd like them to stay that way. Of course, if that were always the case, I guess I'd still be living in Pflugerville, Texas...instead of married to my Soldier husband and living this crazy, wonderful, super crappy, up, down and moving around military life.

Sunday, May 8, 2011

The Next Phase

20 weeks. May to October. Its really just around the corner.


Some say the second half of the deployment is harder. Others disagree. And then there are those who ride the fence saying that it all depends on when you take your R&R leave. But even then, I have talked to people who say earlier is better, some say it depends on the season, some wait until the last possible second so there are just a few weeks left before the Soldier's return.

Much like beauty and its beholder, surviving is in the eye of the survivor. Why does that make me want to sing Eye of the Tiger?! Or I will survive? Anyway, I am off track (spoken in GPS lady tone of voice).

We have 20 weeks left, and I think we're going to make it. I do think the season matters. It's summer! No more scraping windshields, no more trudging through snow, no more excessive layering and coat wearing. It's just freer, more comfortable, happier.

PLUS, I have a lot of Hawaii photos to scrapbook and that should keep me occupied.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Therapy?

Well, I am back to work, vacation's over. No more paradise. And there was a bit of a scene at the office today. What kind of a scene, you ask? There was a F**KING MOUSE in my office!!! (edited in an effort to not seem like a potty mouth)
I went in, set my stuff down, moved something from my back credenza, and SAW him scurry out. It seemed like it was almost in slow motion. You know, like when something supertramatic happens to a person and their brain slows it down for them so that they can process it without going into shock?
Yes, that's a real thing! I read about it on the internet:
Put simply, danger signals put the body on alert; there are many biochemical changes happening very rapidly, many brought about by the hormone Adrenaline – there is a simple, immediate assessment of the level of danger – should we run away (flight) or face up to it (fight)? In these situations there is often an altered sense of time – it seems to slow down, probably because the responses of the reptilian brain are much quicker that our normal state of consciousness, and our metabolism is speeded up.
Of course I freaked.
I ran down to the staff duty office, and when I could find my voice again I told them about it. They hemmed and hawed one telling the other to go out and look for it. Finally one of them went down the hall with a broom. Planning to sweep him to death, I guess.
He couldn't find it. I went down the hall to get some coffee, you know, because I'm not already all spun up and need some caffeine. Actually I just thought if I did something, like make a pot of coffee, for instance, I could calm down a bit.
On the way back I saw the SOB running back in there! That's when things got ugly. I had the biggest freakout I've ever had. I shrieked there it is! And commenced hyperventilating, sweating and crying. I had to go outside and get some air. I almost threw up. Some of my friends, co-workers, and supervisors saw me in this state and were very concerned that "something bad happened." Uh, I'd say this qualifies as something pretty darn bad! One person (hi MG!) thought someone had died! Yes, I was really that upset.
The Soldiers chased it out of my office and into the break room RIGHT ACROSS THE HALL, and it has not been seen since. So I spent the rest of the day staring at the hallway while typing, answering the phone, etc to be sure it wasn't trying to come back in. Of course I'm one step ahead. I put a rolled up banner in front of the doorway.
Yes, as I explained to everyone who passed the office, I am aware that it could scurry over the barrier, but I would have extra time to throw things and scream. Each time I had to leave to go to a meeting or the bathroom or anything, I had to have someone go in and cause a ruckus in my office to be sure it wasn't in there.
Some people kind of laughed and poked fun throughout the day. It didn't hurt my feelings or upset me at all. I realize that this is an irrational fear. I realize that my behavior is irrational. I just can't get past it and it keeps getting worse.
Do you think I need some kind of therapy?

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

New Background

I just thought it was about time. :)

Monday, May 2, 2011

The Real Rest of the Story

Okay, sorry I ended that last one kind of abruptly, but it was dragging on too long and I was getting frustrated. So...where was I? Oh yeah, April 27, having a lung collapse from hiking up Diamond Head.

So, here's what you should know about it:
Had a cup of coffee instead of water before starting out. Bad idea. (as if some water might have suddenly made me a world class hiker)
I'm not going to cut and past a bunch of stuff from the internet. But I am going to say that it's .8 mile uphill the whole way, mostly on rocky trail and then 4 sets of stairs and two tunnels mixed in for good measure (stairs are 74, 99, 3 story spiral and 54 steps!) Go ahead, read all about it.
If you don't want to read all about it, at least go look at the photos. No. I walked up the damn thing, I'm not pasting the pictures here for you.
SO, it really was cool. Once I recovered from the shaky leg and lack of breath (and embarrassment because grandmas were doing it and one guy did it twice--RUNNING while we were there) it was beautiful. And windy and cool. We took some pictures and enjoyed the view all the way around and then headed back down. I wondered if anyone ever fell down the 99 steps.
What did we do after that? Well the breakfast buffet at the hotel, of course! :) and then a little later we strolled through the Army museum that is right next to the hotel and is just small enough to be interesting without getting boring to me. The helicopter exhibit was closed, but the rest was cool. Dinner at the Yard House for a second time. Very good.

April 28 - Last full day. We slept in, but not too late. Had breakfast at the famous Eggs N Things. Where I had pancakes but Stephen had eggs and things (potatoes and Portuguese sausage). After breakfast we strolled through the mall (the one with Maui Tacos, but we didn't eat there since we had just eaten!) and through town back to the hotel. We went down to the pool for a while and had a snack from Happy's Snack Bar at the hotel on the way back to the room. Nachos and a hot dog. We're on vacation! Then we decided we hadn't had quite enough mexican food, so we hit Cha Cha Cha's again! We walked back to the hotel, caught the last sunset of our trip and headed for the room to watch Michael Scott's last episode of The Office, our show. Friday we got up late, went to breakfast at the Wailana coffee house/cocktail bar (second visit), finished packing and checked out of the hotel.

I won't bore you with the details of the goodbyeing at the Dallas airport. It suffices to say it was tearful and on the skylink tram between my gate and his. We were so so happy to be able to be on the same flight on the way there AND back. It wasn't as bad as I had feared, I think because Stephen was very upbeat and positive and reminded me that we only have about 20 weeks left.

I guess I better get scrappin those 958 photos! That's an estimate, but not necessarily an exaggeration!

And the Rest of the Story...

I stopped with the Hawaii commentary when we still had a week left. Here's that week:

evening of 4/21-found somewhere to eat. And the winner was...Cha Cha Cha! That's right,
Mexican food twice in one day! :) and ohhhh, the pineapple salsa. and ooohhh, the mango margarita. So So good.
April 22-Circle Tour! from 7:30a-5pm we rode around the island, stopping at all kinds of interesting little places and hearing (usually more than once, Barbara was a repeater!) all about the details of it. LOTS of tidbits about the tv shows Lost and Magnum PI and Hawaii Five O. ALWAYS followed Hawaii 5-0 with "book 'em Danno". But she was funny.
Turns out...it's better for blogging if I do these vacation journals when I get home. Then I can add all kinds of details I find on the internet or copy out of the brochures I have brought home...

Tour Description:
Spend a day on this 120-mile complete circle island tour that truly shows the real Hawaii people come to see.
Expertly narrated, this tour includes a stop at the 1,800-acre historic Waimea Valley. Enjoy its lush gardens, Hawaiian cultural sights and tranquil beauty. A truly unforgettable experience!--HB note: "Enjoy its lush gardens"=hike it's hot and humid rainforest. Just so you know.
This tour stops at the following places:
Diamond Head Slopes
Hanauma Bay
Halona "From Here to Eternity" Beach
Nu'uanu Pali Lookout
Byodo-In Temple **omb, this was so so pretty! (omb=oh my buddha!)
Windward Coast (lunch stop)*at Crouching Lion restaurant named for the rock formation at the top of the mountain behind it*
Waimea Valley - Admission & personalized guided 1.5-mile walking tour included
Dole Plantation
This tour drives through the following places:
Kahala (Beverly Hills in Hawaii)*where Barbara pointed out EVERY SINGLE DECORATIVE GATE! "Dolphin gate coming up on the left followed by a crane gate!"
Rain Forests, Ko'olau Mountains, Pineapple and agriculture fields
The above lists are the "basic minimum" stops and drive-throughs that our tour guides do for this tour. Your tour guide will most likely add more stops depending on his/her narrative and if there are interesting scenes along the way, such as turtles and/or seals. *or Obama's childhood apartment!*

Ok, on with the commentary....after the Circle Tour, we watched the fireworks from our lanai and drank a couple of beers then I think we ate at one of the restaurants at the hotel. ? not sure. Probably because it wasn't great.


April 23- Busy morning! Got the rental car, then some coffee, then went on a Submarine ride! It was really cool AND we saw some turtles! After the submarine, much less expensive and almost as exciting...lunch at Jack in the Box! YAYE JnB! :) Then things sort of went downhill for Stephen. He so sweetly escorted me to the swap meet. This is a flea market that wraps around the Aloha Stadium! It's HUGE and essentially the same crap booth after booth. We didn't stay too long, maybe saw a fourth of it. But it was pretty hot and like I said...same stuff repeated repeatedly. We DID get our Hawaii Christmas ornament there, though, and I do so love it. Following the swap meet, we went by the PX and got some snorkel gear for the following day, and rested/relaxed for a few hours, caught the sunset, and then had dinner at Los Chaparros. YES, mexican food again, what of it?
April 24 - up early and driving to the North Shore for...SWIMMING WITH THE SHARKS! So SO COOL! The only downside was that it was a little bit rough and we got jostled around in the steel cage quite a bit. I didn't care, though, it was way awesome to have 8-10 (I want to say 10-12 but I don't want to exaggerate) sharks swimming just feet from me. After the swimming, breakfast at McDonald's, then driving around the North Shore and down the winward side of the island. That's what they call it. It's the east side. I don't know why they don't just say east side. Then we're driving along and I see the shrimp ponds! We had seen them on the Circle Tour (with repeating Barbara) and Stephen remembered which one she said was best so we stopped in. I wasn't hungry but wanted to try it. The man let me buy just 6 shrimp, not 12 and no rice with it. Garlic butter fresh shrimp. mmmmmm! We were looking for a place to snorkel. So we stopped a couple places, and at one (we didn't snorkel there) a big ol turtle had come up on shore! He was so so cute, and the beach patrol people were keeping a rope around him about 5 feet out so that the people couldn't get too close. After we hung out with him a while we moved on, found a beach, tried to snorkel but it was pretty windy and rough so we eventually gave up and headed back to the hotel. We showered and R&R'd a bit before heading out to dinner. We had a reservation! d.k steakhouse to celebrate our 5 year anniversary! It's actually June 24, not April 24, but he won't be home so we made it early. It was delicious!

April 25 - Kualoa Ranch Full Day Adventure Tour! ATV riding, Jungle Expedition and Secret Beach. OK...the ATV was like a parade. We were just going in a single file line and no "off roading" type stuff. A bit disappointing. Jungle Expedition was a little bit cooler, riding in a humvee through the jungle. I wish we'd have been on the ATVs on THAT trail! Then lunch, which was fair, but then the Secret Beach, which I loved! We were carried on a little pond boat to this beach. No one else was there. It was just us (and a couple guides that left us alone for the most part) for an hour and a half then another couple came there for the last hour or so. We kayaked and tried to stand up paddle. Stephen did better than I did, but I got up at least! Then we snorkeled and then I laid in the sun and he snorkeled some more. Then he laid in the sun with me for a little bit and then we walked on the beach and then it was time to leave. Of course then I was spoiled and all other beaches were "too crowded!"

After the Ranch tour, we had Maui Tacos for dinner and some Cold Stone Creamery Ice Cream for dessert!

April 26 - 2 hour kayak tour, followed by lunch at Bob's pizza (goood!) and then out snorkeling on our own. We went to beautiful Lanikai beach to snorkel/lay on the beach for a couple hours and then tried to get the water cameras developed. Sadly one had gotten water in it, so they refused to even try as the "salt water would contaminate the chemicals." I'm going to try elsewhere.

Back to the hotel and then I have no idea what was for dinner. Oh wait...maybe this was "big ketchup!" Yes, I think it was. I think we ate at Koko's at the hotel. I had joked with Stephen a couple of times that there must be a shortage of ketchup on the island because he ordered something with fries and they brought like a tablespoon dollop of it to the table. When my burger and fries came to the table, along with it came two small metal cups with dollops of mayonnaise and mustard. Next to the small cups, there was a giant, like a one cup measuring cup FULL OF KETCHUP! We both looked at each other all big-eyed and as soon as the waitress walked away we died laughing. Seriously? Who needs a CUP of ketchup? This was Stephen's favorite part of the vacation. I can't believe we paid for all those tours when all it took was a vat of ketchup!

April 27 - I must really love that man. I hiked up Diamond Head because he wanted to. Oh, I pretended to also be excited about all those steps and uphill trail walking, but ugh. I'm real tired, have something in my eye and a cat asleep on my lap, so I'll write more about Diamond Head and the last couple days tomorrow.

Why Am I Not Rejoicing

Better words than I could find--
This is a blogpost by a friend and fellow military spouse.

shoot! I can't get it to copy/paste. His blog address is:
www.thearmywifedude.blogspot.com

I will post the body of the post later. I hope you will go there and read it. thanks!